Having anxiety and obsessive thoughts often boils down to a simple misunderstanding of the level of danger in a situation.
My brain tells me that leaving switches turned on will result in the house burning down, that if I don’t go and check the door seven times before bed I’ll get burgled, and – in the worst times – that if I go outside I’ll get murdered.
A big part of getting better has been reassuring myself that these thoughts aren’t rational. I tell myself that the world is not as dangerous as my brain makes it out to be, that I’m safe, that there’s no reason to be scared.
But last week things did get genuinely, truly scary.
I woke up to news that there had been an explosion in Manchester, where lots of my friends live, at an Ariana Grande concert that a few of them could well have been at.
Once I’d checked that those closest to me were safe, the horrible pit of fear in my stomach didn’t go away.
Martyn Hett, someone I barely knew outside of his social media presence but who’d showed me how truly lovely he was when we spoke about his mum for a story, was missing for the entire day. It was later discovered that he had died in the explosion.
That has, honestly, hit me hard.
I don’t in any way want to compare how I feel with what Martyn’s friends and family must be going through, or what the friends and family of other victims of the explosion are dealing with, so I won’t focus on that part of things.
Instead I’ll talk about the emotions that come not with being in any way involved in terrorist attacks, but of reading about them, watching the events unfold, spotting every single breaking news alert and feeling more and more afraid.
When every scroll through Twitter, every check of your phone, and every breaking news alert tells you of another horrible development in a news cycle – another death announced, a security threat level upped, a stabbing in your hometown – it’s easy for mental health issues to come up to the fore.
Quickly, nowhere feels safe.
Your brain tells you that everyone you know is in danger. It tells you that if you step outside, you’re going to get killed.
Every single part of normal daily life becomes terrifying – your commute, a journey through a crowded place, sitting at your desk at work. It’s scary enough if you don’t have mental illness to deal with. But when your brain takes threats and magnifies them, real-world issues can become genuinely debilitating.
Then you add in the guilt. The guilt of struggling so much mentally when there are people who’ve directly been affected by whatever awful thing is happening in the news.
Feeling lost, scared, and tearing up at every fresh news alert has made me feel like a massive drama queen, as though I’m making a genuine crisis all about me.
I feel ridiculous struggling with mental health issues when there are people in hospitals fighting for their lives.
There’s no quick fix, but here’s what’s been helping me to deal with mental health in the aftermath of terrifying real-life events. First off, I’m learning that it’s okay to turn off the news, stop looking at Twitter, and be a little out of the loop.
A lot of the time, we can feel like we have a duty to be informed, a responsibility to know everything that’s going on. We think it’s disrespectful to stop paying attention. I get that.
But when breaking news alerts become too much to handle, give yourself permission to turn off and look after yourself first.
There’s been a lot of research into the impact of watching traumatic events unfold through the news, most of which suggests that the more information you find out, the more horrible details you read, the higher your stress levels become. Being exposed to horrific events through news coverage can make you feel more vulnerable and at risk, even if you don’t have existing mental health issues.
If you can feel yourself getting too stressed by the news to cope – whether that means you’re having panic attacks, can’t get on with your daily routine, or find yourself thinking that the world is doomed and nothing will ever be good again – there’s nothing wrong with switching off.
At the end of the day, unless it’s your job, you don’t need to know all the details of a terror attack or be aware of every new development as it happens.
There’s been a lot of research into the impact of watching traumatic events unfold through the news, most of which suggests that the more information you find out, the more horrible details you read, the higher your stress levels become.
Being exposed to horrific events through news coverage can make you feel more vulnerable and at risk, even if you don’t have existing mental health issues.
If you can feel yourself getting too stressed by the news to cope – whether that means you’re having panic attacks, can’t get on with your daily routine, or find yourself thinking that the world is doomed and nothing will ever be good again – there’s nothing wrong with switching off.
At the end of the day, unless it’s your job, you don’t need to know all the details of a terror attack or be aware of every new development as it happens.
Over the last ten years, there have been 1.4 deaths per year caused by terrorism in the U.K.
In 2011 alone, there were 693 deaths caused by falling down steps in the U.K.
So really, your staircase is a much bigger threat to your life than terrorism.*
*Please don’t let that make you scared of stairs, I’m just pointing out that the risk posed by terror threats isn’t as huge as your brain may make it appear.
If you’re struggling with the mental effects of bad news, ask for help.
That might mean booking in an extra session with a therapist, even as a one-off. That’s perfectly normal and can be a massive help.
It’s important to let people know that you’re struggling – that you’re scared to leave the house, that your worries are becoming overwhelming, or that you can’t stop obsessing over the news. You’re not being self-obsessed or needy.
Some people will find it harder to deal with horrible events than others, but letting people know you’re finding things hard is crucial.
One other thing that’s helpful for everyone: look for the good.
In the aftermath of terrible things, there will always be stories of people coming together to support victims, rebuild the community, or just to remind everyone that there’s still good in the world.
Look for those stories. Take them in. Remember that while the world can be scary, people are overwhelmingly lovely. We’re going to be okay.
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